INKOVEMA Podcast „Well through time“

#124 – Experiences of mediation professionals as conflict parties in mediation

What have mediators learnt as conflict parties in mediations – for their own professionalisation –?

In conversation with Dr Isabell Lütkehaus and Tilman Metzger

Well through time. The podcast about mediation, conflict coaching and organisational consulting.

Dr Isabell Lütkehaus, lawyermediator, podcaster („Familie bleiben“) and author of the standard work "Basiswissen Mediation", lives and works in Berlin.

Tilman Metzger, mediator from the very beginning in Germany and a recognised expert in mediation.

Contents:

This time I spoke to Isabell Lütkehaus and Tilman Metzger, two mediation professionals of calibre, about our own experiences as conflict parties in mediations.

What have mediators learnt as mediators for their profession?

As a mediator, the most important thing is not to be kicked out.

Because the presence is already effective enough.

  • The effectiveness of paraphrasing and reframing by the mediator.
  • The clarifying effect of being able to listen to the other party to the conflict talking about the conflict to another person.
  • The relief effect of handing over responsibility for the dialogue process.
  • Social pressure at the mediation table (disciplinary effects, pressure to be consistent, etc.)
  • The powerful effect of the presence of a neutral third party.
  • Mediation is a crucial phase in the conflict dynamics – and certainly a „game changer“

My personal experience as a mediator:

  • At the youth welfare office and in family counselling between me and my (step)parents.
  • As a partner with my partner (private mediation)
  • As managing director with my business partner (business mediation)
  • As a partner in a child custody case with my wife in family counselling.