INKOVEMA Podcast „Well through time“

#207 GddZ

The question compass for mediation.

Goals and techniques for asking questions in mediation

In conversation with Bernhard Böhm

Bernhard Böhm, Lawyer and mediator, studied law in Giessen and Leipzig, mediator and trainer for mediation since the late 1990s. Expert for mediation in organisations.

Well through time.

The podcast about mediation, conflict coaching and organisational consulting.

Contents

Summary

In this episode of the podcast „Gut durch die Zeit“, the topic of questioning techniques takes centre stage. Sascha Weigel talks to Bernhard Böhm, an experienced mediator and organisational consultant who has extensive knowledge and experience in dealing with questions in mediation and beyond. Their discussion focuses on how high-quality questions can be formulated and what role they play in mediation, conflict coaching and organisational consulting.

Bernhard explains that for him, questions are more than just a technique; they represent an attitude of curiosity and interest in people and their situations. He shares his experience gained during his master's thesis on mediation and questioning techniques and emphasises that the ability to ask effective questions often depends on one's own attitude. A key point of their discussion is that thought-provoking questions are often the most valuable. Bernhard emphasises that questions are not only used to obtain information, but also to clarify relationships and make processes transparent.

In the course of the discussion, the question compass is introduced, a tool that Bernhard has developed to capture the various objectives and formats of questions in a structured way. This compass comprises various questions that can be used in different phases of mediation and counselling. Bernhard explains the six central objectives that he has defined with the Question Compass and provides insights into how these can be used in practice to better understand and achieve the objectives of the mediated parties.

The dialogue partners also discuss the challenges and opportunities that arise from asking questions. They discuss how crucial it is to ask the right question at the right time while keeping the overall goal of the mediation in mind. Bernhard describes the importance of active listening and its influence on the quality of the questions that are ultimately asked. The connection between questioning techniques and the individual needs and perspectives of the conflict parties is at the centre of this.

The discussion concludes with a reflection on how questions can support learning and transformation within mediation.
Bernhard emphasises that in addition to clarifying the content, the development of learned patterns is also important in order to achieve long-term results. Despite all the difficulties that questions can entail, it becomes clear that they are a central element of successful mediation.

 

Full transcript

[0:03]
Introduction to questioning techniques
[0:00]And I personally make me even not so very then the Thoughts about one concrete Question. When I the Goal in the View hold, comes the mostly from whole alone. Cordially welcome to the Podcast Good through the Time. The Podcast round at Mediation.
[0:10]Music. A Podcast from INKOVEMA. I am Sascha Weigel and welcome you to one new Consequence. Today goes it explicit perhaps even not so very at Mediation, but at one Technology, the also with the Organisational consulting and in the Coaching Important becomes, namely Questioning techniques. Today shall the Question mark here in the Foreground stand. And in favour have I me one whole experienced Mediator and Organisational consultant with ins Podcast studio fetched, the not only to the Topic Questions already before longer Time also published has and also in Mediation manuals his Concepts and Models presented has to the Questions, but the also as Practitioner and Instructor active is. Cordially welcome here in the Studio, St Bernard Boehm.
[0:12]Conflict coaching and Organisational consulting.
[1:02]Many Thanks to for the Invitation, Sascha. Cordially welcome from mine Page also. Yes, Bernd, you are Yes also Mediator and Leipzig also. So we are here although virtual in the virtual Podcast studio, but know us also here so from the Hood, like one so say could.
[1:17]What connects you so to speak with this Topic Questioning techniques professional? Why have you you so a whole explicit Topic also picked out, where you also in several Publications in addition the Things formulated have?
[1:30]And when I the right still in Reminder have, you said also times me, you have there early, I believe, yours Master thesis with written. So what connects you with it? The right, yes. I have mine Master thesis to the Topic Mediation and Question technique written, because I already then noted have, that the Question really also a effective and very powerful Instrument is. I but also whole personally sometimes something speechless was and me not the right Question invaded is. And I then thought, I must me the Topic times something closer dedicate and have then mine Master thesis about the Topic the Questions of the Mediators or also the Mediator written. Since then has me it not more let go, because the Question even very,
[2:11]
The personal approach to the questioning technique
[2:09]very much also enables and opens also beyond the Mediation. And the was so the personal Access. When you say, at that time, the sounds also exactly the same, like it is. It is already some Time here. The sounds now even so old, but it is in fact, when I now look back, soon 20 years here. So I have, so like you, also Law studied and then to the first Exam already the Mediation discovered and to the second then still one Master made. In this respect lies the already a pair years here. But I find, one discovered always still what New. Where have you Law studied? Or when was that? I have first in Pouring, then in Leipzig and have 1999 my first Exam made. Then Mediation training, already as Mediator worked and still a little maintained with mine second Exam. So in this respect then, believe me, 2003 completed.
[2:53]Ah yes, so a pair Years before that. 2003 have I me a first Exam made, exactly. Exciting Topic, 2003 and then, Yes, with the Mediation also later still a bit, but... Exactly, I am then ins Traineeship and Mediation was then so already the first, I believe, the first Seminars on the Uni came in the Time out. Professor Berger has the in the Civil law participated. But I came about the Transactional analysis in these Counselling topic and have then first later, 2006, in the Context mine Promotion Mediation edited. The was a little later. Because you earlier Yes straight the Question mark mentioned have. I place times one Question on the Position. Have you one Idea, when the Question mark the Move-in held has? So actually as Punctuation marks? The can I not say, but I am a large Fan from Austin Powers. And Austin Powers‘ Uncle has the Question mark invented. The have I still firm in Reminder, the Man, the the Question mark invented has. Yes, the right. But nope, Fun aside. I white not, when is the Question mark? So in his today Function actually goes the already back until on the 16. Century. And the find I whole exciting. And one can itself actually one Set also without Question, Interrogative sentence without Question mark
[4:06]
The history of the question mark
[4:05]also heavy introduce. The sets but again so one Point or a Exclamation mark, also when it a Question mark is, on End of sentence. The seems Yes even not so long here to be. So 16. Century, there have the Yes already 16 Centuries times without spent.
[4:19]Probably have ours Ancestors already long Time also without Question mark get along can. Exactly, but like this, I mine, the Renaissance was the Time the Scientific development, that the Science modern was and then is it perhaps also whole suitable, that the Question mark in this Time invented was, what Yes Expression of the scientific spirit is. But perhaps gave it there these Contexts, but it is me so far still not accommodated. What means for you Questions? So Questions as Mediator is a large Topic, but also in the other Counselling contexts, in those you active are. What means the for you, Questions to place and Questions to formulate? Personal find me, is Questions first one Attitude, one Curiosity, a Interest in on Persons, on Relationships, on Objects, on Situations. More as only one pure Technology. Without Interest, believe me,
[5:09]
The attitude of asking questions
[5:08]can one itself in Questions also not train. So in this respect has the for me first these Significance, that one Yes also really know wants, also really one Answer have would like, not only one Question provides, because one es…
[5:19]Man thinks, one should now one place as Mediator. In this respect much more as only pure Craft, believe me. The also however. Well, there Go we equal the Questions from, notice me. So one good Follow-up question, the find I Yes also always one well-considered thing. And when you on the Posture immediately recourse, then are we so right in the middle in one Topic, the Mediators whole, whole Important find, that the Posture vote must. What belongs to because for you there to one good formulated Question, when we times the Technology, the Craft connect with the, what you as curious Posture Underlying lay? Questions is natural also Craft and also Technology, not only Attitude. The needs it also. Your Question draws itself on it from, like must one Question formulated be, so that them good is? When are you Satisfied with yours Questions? Can one the so abstract detached from the Situation describe? Is the something, what so displayable is?
[6:10]Yes, when am I Satisfied with mine Question? The hangs natural a Piece wide from the Context the Situation from. I would say, one good Question is actually the, where I not equal one Answer get. So when I with one Question so one Impulse set, that my dialogue partner or the Interlocutor first times ponder must, that it irritated perhaps also is, about the Impulse also again reflect must, simple also to the Reflect stimulated becomes. The find I actually so the Exciting. So one Question, where I one obvious Answer get and the also light falls, are mostly not so the whole interesting Questions. The must although also placed become and the needs it. I find, one Question may also simple times stand remain, also times unanswered remain, because one maybe, yes.
[6:51]
The art of asking good questions
[6:51]Still Time needs. And the find I actually are so the interesting Questions, like it you there so goes in the Context. For me was the Moment enlightening, where I realised, that I with Questions more inform and give away from me, as that it me therefore goes, Knowledge to get or Information on to get. So this Aspect from, I place one Question, so that I the white and so that I there what experience, the is something, what plausible is and where one also thinks, yes, the makes me from as more curious Human and is important, but in Mediations and in Consultations have I but this Aspect much stronger then in the Focus get, that me, one I don't know, the I bring with me, a Interest in on the others, where I me Thoughts do, where I me consider, technical said one Hypothesis form, that I the stop transport in the Question and them also check and there is for me so to speak this, more interesting Element in this.
[7:55]Intervention technique, Question, bring I mine Thesis on one Kind and Wise over, that the other not in Defence Go must, that he itself not exposed feels, that he not in Resistance goes, Psychological spoken, but that he free ponder can, feel in can and say can, the is one interesting Question and then comes one Answer. The is a Just a moment, in the always clear I would, that we with Questions, we Mediators with Questions much more inform, what we Important find.
[8:27]As that us the Answer interested. The interesting Aspect, the you describe straight, are Yes two Things. The one is yes, I says natural with one Question also something about me from and mine Hypothesis. On the other hand goes it even not so therefore, that we as Mediators Information on get, but Yes also with the Question rather at the other what effect would like. Your Execution has me again to the Reflect brought, because the will I also more often placed. Can I because at all unintentional ask? So when I now Critical would be or pointedly, could I Yes say, well, you pack simple one Statement skilful in one Question, that it the other not notices. And where I him also open leave, the Response room so to speak to be filled in. So the makes the good Question from, that I the other not urge to one from mine Perspective supposedly right Answer, but that he the Freedom has. And then is it but but one Shape from softer Consultancy, that we so that clear make, we hold the for important, about it now to think about, so that you yours Problem, yours Conflict to one Solution lead can. This Aspect of the advice, the Yes not so clumsy comes along, you shall, the becomes Yes mostly underestimated and on favourite made away with. But we are there whole… Whole strong involved and have there also one Difference to perform as honourable Performance.
[9:47]And therefore can we not simple unintentional ask. So who the tasted, can the Yes do, but I white not, what he thereof has. Yes, I believe, it becomes us also even not succeed. I think, we have simple Pictures and Hypotheses all Attitude. I find, there should one also honest be. Yes, exactly. And the Intention, that the other one Solution for itself Build can, for the he also the Responsibility
[10:08]
Asking questions without intention?
[10:06]take over must, the find I yes, is Yes the Reason for the Performance. So therefore commissioned he us Yes also, what we stop not do should, is him to raided and in the Corner to urge with ours Questions or ours Advice. And therefore would I say, one good Question enables Response rooms, the even filled in become must. These Rooms to control, the is with the Question practical also one Information. The hold we for important, about it to think about. to think. I control so a little in the Tangible pure. I have Yes this Essay from you there read, where you the Question compass, the you probably already also in the Master thesis developed have, but I have still times in one later Manual professional Mediation.
[10:47]Discovered, what the Whole still times more handy makes and also good on one Map brings, what we with Questions everything Hire must, may and in the Mediation fortunately also can. Yes, the right. So the was also my Thought with the Compass. Back then in the Master thesis have I also noted, well, it gives countless many, Categorisations from Questions and there loses one whole fast the Overview. Funnies, open Questions, rhetorical Questions, Suggestive questions, Questions, the I only Sundays position, Questions, the I only the or those place may. Questions, the I only Sundays position.
[11:20]The Sunday question, exactly, the Sunday question to the Example. So I find, one loses there fast the Overview. With the Compass can one itself stop the Reproach set up, it is very reduced, but I have tried, so six Question objectives to work out, with with the one also work can and then rather the Goal in the View to hold, as one whole concrete Question. Yes, and the found I the Charming on it. So therefore, I have also some natural Categorisations and Tables and the like to Questions discovered and itself developed. But the charming Variant, the Goal in the View to keep and the Goals, the we have in the Mediation, sometimes in individual Phases, sometimes superordinate, The found I in the Question Compass really whole good illustrated and very usable for the Mediation. Since closes itself the Question for me to, is it from yours Page here exclusively for Mediation thought, these Map? Or have you meanwhile also then Experience made in other Settings, where you say, the Helps me exactly the same, because the whole similar Terrain with itself brings?
[12:22]On each Case. I find, one can with this Compass, the are Yes in this six Fields, marvellous work in Workshop situations, in Situations, where it therefore goes, rather preventive also Expectations to clarify. In the Co-operation to the Example or also in the Sliding degree also Organisations in the Growing together. So also there can one marvellous with this Compass work or even also in
[12:47]
The question compass in mediation
[12:44]Individual settings, in Coaching situations on it to fall back on. The is natural outgoing from the Mediation developed been, but actually a Model, believe me, with the one also good in other Situations work can. Leave us times, whole directive spoken, let us times the six Goals address. What is so to speak illustrated in the Question comment? I make the Graphic then with in the Shownotes, but that we short know, which Goals become in the Compass illustrated? The first Goal is, the Process to clarify. Since goes it so at the Co-operation and the Kind and Wise the Conflict teaching. The is not only something, what on Beginning the Mediation stands, but we clarify Yes actually Ongoing the Process and the Together. The stands although on first Place now in the Compass, but the Compass is now not so in the Senses one Causal chain to understand. Man can there so always again also reach for it. The is so the first Field. And I believe, it is also important, always again also to watch, like is because so the Working alliance? The is so the first Field. And is in the Coaching and Organisational consulting and other Settings.
[13:44]Even as Lawyer must one the Process quite times clarify and address, what the Client itself there also thinks and what he actually wants. Absolutely, exactly. So I believe, these Order currency have we all probably as Mediators also the Experience made, whole, whole more important.
[14:03]
The six objectives of the Question Compass
[13:58]Central Building block, ultimately also so the Basis for Trust and the Cooperation. The would be the first Building block, when I it times so go through. The second Goal is, the Conflict and the Facts of the case to understand. Man could say, the Moves itself rather so on the Factual level, grabs a Piece wide to briefly. So here try I rather so Participants so in their Reality of life to pick up and to look, in which World move them itself. The means, there close itself then Questions to, the so Step for Step the Goal closer bring. Man could say, the are rather still Questions of understanding. What is actually going on? The are also frequently Questions, the not so very, like can one say, perhaps also from Perspective of the Respondents even not so demanding first are. Who is involved? Who white of it? Correct, exactly. So the are actually still not absolutely the Questions, where I much ponder must, but the are rather Questions, on the I me also very fast let in can. I believe, the is also again right. So one should, the is mine Experience, at least not equal with the very demanding, reflexive Questions get in, but rather times like this, it needs a Arrive, warm become, Building trust. The would also at the Conflict Understand still not mean, I illuminate the now with the Questions to very, but it goes first times therefore.
[15:10]So a little the Terrain to stake out. Still not in the Depth to go, at the Conflict in his Diversity to understand, but first times only so one Frame to find. The, what we so sometimes as Conflict resolution have, the have you in one other Compass range accommodated. Exactly, so here goes it really therefore.
[15:29]Participants so in their Reality to reach and to pick up and the Information on together, the I perhaps also otherwise still need. So times so as Example, where stand them today, like experience them the Cooperation, where step Conflicts on, like provides itself the Organisation at the moment up? Such Questions, that one times a Example also has, the fit actually in this Field. The is so the second Field. Perhaps still one small Supplement to the Question to Turning points, find I also still whole interesting. Fits also in this Field. So where gave it Turning points? What was earlier different? Where has itself what developed? I try in the Rule Yes not, the Conflict so in his Chronology complete to capture. So the needs it mostly also not. I think, there must one before all Things in this Field watch out, that it not so investigative Questions are. The has Yes fast so Interrogation character. And also then so one Print, there build I also Pressure on with Questions. So I always so the Word Question squeeze, there must one even also watch out. Because the are so Questions, the serve in addition, fast times someone in one embarrassed Situation to bring. The would be so the Point, that we the Openness burden, that there Answers with pleasure given become and not it to exposing is. The third Field, the aims on it from, Resources and Needs to recognise. And the is for me so the Centrepiece the Mediation.
[16:42]
Recognising needs and resources
[16:42]Other would say, perhaps so Interest phase, but also the is now not only on one Phase in the Mediation limited, but I believe, it draws itself Yes so through the Mediation process also on many Jobs. Now really also on it to watch, can I with the Questions on the one hand a Piece wide Reflection reach and Understanding achieve? And I make Yes the Experience, perhaps have you them also made probably, that it frequently also therefore goes, itself also times a Piece wide itself to understand. So what is because actually that, what me so in one Conflict drives and triggers? What are because the Things, the me Important are? Yes, exactly, what Important is. Also the Motivation understand and…
[17:17]Yes, the is sometimes also for the Participants enlightening to know, yes, right, therefore goes it me. The means, there is the Point so to speak, Needs and Interests to accommodate, as Core, the Colleague Tilman Butcher says Yes like this, the Biomediation, Needs and Interest-orientation, would be the so to speak, there Clarity to find. Okay, but the is still not the last Phase, but you have still the fourth Field, different Perspectives. Exactly, so the is still not the last Field, but when we equal to the next go. Perhaps still a Set, it goes not only at Needs interests, but it goes Yes also therefore, at all Potentials to Recognise and so that ultimately Behavioural options also to expand. The corresponds to so to speak the Basic idea. The means, when we the Needs, Interests behind the Positions understand, the is Yes the Basic logic from Mediators for many in any case, then open itself potentials Areas of the negotiation. Then can one over Negotiate come. When one so not only the individual deadlocked Positions sees, but the behind it, the in Service standing needs.
[18:19]Need would I but still so see, so the would be the one, the Need. It goes but also therefore, Potentials, the can Yes to the Example Skills be, Skills, can also Relationships be or other to recognise. Is something other as a pure Need. I understand like this, the becomes from it derived. Or enquired, yes. Man can the understand, the is not whole, so to speak mine Think, one can the Logic behind it understand. Okay, yes, and like would be yours Think? I see not so very the key in it, that these Presentation behind the Positions, gives it then one Room for Negotiations, that the per se, so that the logically there be must, but there think me, the is the Claim, the Mediation formulated, that the something is, to the the Participants then Yes say, when them in the Mediation go. The is perhaps not clear, but these Willingness to negotiate, the becomes so to speak demanded from