INKOVEMA Podcast „Well through time“
#207 GddZ
The question compass for mediation.
Goals and techniques for asking questions in mediation
In conversation with Bernhard Böhm
Bernhard Böhm, Lawyer and mediator, studied law in Giessen and Leipzig, mediator and trainer for mediation since the late 1990s. Expert for mediation in organisations.
Well through time.
The podcast about mediation, conflict coaching and organisational consulting.
Contents
Summary
In this episode of the podcast „Gut durch die Zeit“, the topic of questioning techniques takes centre stage. Sascha Weigel talks to Bernhard Böhm, an experienced mediator and organisational consultant who has extensive knowledge and experience in dealing with questions in mediation and beyond. Their discussion focuses on how high-quality questions can be formulated and what role they play in mediation, conflict coaching and organisational consulting.
Bernhard explains that for him, questions are more than just a technique; they represent an attitude of curiosity and interest in people and their situations. He shares his experience gained during his master's thesis on mediation and questioning techniques and emphasises that the ability to ask effective questions often depends on one's own attitude. A key point of their discussion is that thought-provoking questions are often the most valuable. Bernhard emphasises that questions are not only used to obtain information, but also to clarify relationships and make processes transparent.
In the course of the discussion, the question compass is introduced, a tool that Bernhard has developed to capture the various objectives and formats of questions in a structured way. This compass comprises various questions that can be used in different phases of mediation and counselling. Bernhard explains the six central objectives that he has defined with the Question Compass and provides insights into how these can be used in practice to better understand and achieve the objectives of the mediated parties.
The dialogue partners also discuss the challenges and opportunities that arise from asking questions. They discuss how crucial it is to ask the right question at the right time while keeping the overall goal of the mediation in mind. Bernhard describes the importance of active listening and its influence on the quality of the questions that are ultimately asked. The connection between questioning techniques and the individual needs and perspectives of the conflict parties is at the centre of this.
The discussion concludes with a reflection on how questions can support learning and transformation within mediation.
Bernhard emphasises that in addition to clarifying the content, the development of learned patterns is also important in order to achieve long-term results. Despite all the difficulties that questions can entail, it becomes clear that they are a central element of successful mediation.
Full transcript
[0:03]
Introduction to questioning techniques
[0:00]And I personally make me even not so very then the Thoughts about one concrete Question. When I the Goal in the View hold, comes the mostly from whole alone. Cordially welcome to the Podcast Good through the Time. The Podcast round at Mediation.
[0:10]Music. A Podcast from INKOVEMA. I am Sascha Weigel and welcome you to one new Consequence. Today goes it explicit perhaps even not so very at Mediation, but at one Technology, the also with the Organisational consulting and in the Coaching Important becomes, namely Questioning techniques. Today shall the Question mark here in the Foreground stand. And in favour have I me one whole experienced Mediator and Organisational consultant with ins Podcast studio fetched, the not only to the Topic Questions already before longer Time also published has and also in Mediation manuals his Concepts and Models presented has to the Questions, but the also as Practitioner and Instructor active is. Cordially welcome here in the Studio, St Bernard Boehm.
[0:12]Conflict coaching and Organisational consulting.
[1:02]Many Thanks to for the Invitation, Sascha. Cordially welcome from mine Page also. Yes, Bernd, you are Yes also Mediator and Leipzig also. So we are here although virtual in the virtual Podcast studio, but know us also here so from the Hood, like one so say could.
[1:17]What connects you so to speak with this Topic Questioning techniques professional? Why have you you so a whole explicit Topic also picked out, where you also in several Publications in addition the Things formulated have?
[1:30]And when I the right still in Reminder have, you said also times me, you have there early, I believe, yours Master thesis with written. So what connects you with it? The right, yes. I have mine Master thesis to the Topic Mediation and Question technique written, because I already then noted have, that the Question really also a effective and very powerful Instrument is. I but also whole personally sometimes something speechless was and me not the right Question invaded is. And I then thought, I must me the Topic times something closer dedicate and have then mine Master thesis about the Topic the Questions of the Mediators or also the Mediator written. Since then has me it not more let go, because the Question even very,
[2:11]
The personal approach to the questioning technique
[2:09]very much also enables and opens also beyond the Mediation. And the was so the personal Access. When you say, at that time, the sounds also exactly the same, like it is. It is already some Time here. The sounds now even so old, but it is in fact, when I now look back, soon 20 years here. So I have, so like you, also Law studied and then to the first Exam already the Mediation discovered and to the second then still one Master made. In this respect lies the already a pair years here. But I find, one discovered always still what New. Where have you Law studied? Or when was that? I have first in Pouring, then in Leipzig and have 1999 my first Exam made. Then Mediation training, already as Mediator worked and still a little maintained with mine second Exam. So in this respect then, believe me, 2003 completed.
[2:53]Ah yes, so a pair Years before that. 2003 have I me a first Exam made, exactly. Exciting Topic, 2003 and then, Yes, with the Mediation also later still a bit, but... Exactly, I am then ins Traineeship and Mediation was then so already the first, I believe, the first Seminars on the Uni came in the Time out. Professor Berger has the in the Civil law participated. But I came about the Transactional analysis in these Counselling topic and have then first later, 2006, in the Context mine Promotion Mediation edited. The was a little later. Because you earlier Yes straight the Question mark mentioned have. I place times one Question on the Position. Have you one Idea, when the Question mark the Move-in held has? So actually as Punctuation marks? The can I not say, but I am a large Fan from Austin Powers. And Austin Powers‘ Uncle has the Question mark invented. The have I still firm in Reminder, the Man, the the Question mark invented has. Yes, the right. But nope, Fun aside. I white not, when is the Question mark? So in his today Function actually goes the already back until on the 16. Century. And the find I whole exciting. And one can itself actually one Set also without Question, Interrogative sentence without Question mark
[4:06]
The history of the question mark
[4:05]also heavy introduce. The sets but again so one Point or a Exclamation mark, also when it a Question mark is, on End of sentence. The seems Yes even not so long here to be. So 16. Century, there have the Yes already 16 Centuries times without spent.
[4:19]Probably have ours Ancestors already long Time also without Question mark get along can. Exactly, but like this, I mine, the Renaissance was the Time the Scientific development, that the Science modern was and then is it perhaps also whole suitable, that the Question mark in this Time invented was, what Yes Expression of the scientific spirit is. But perhaps gave it there these Contexts, but it is me so far still not accommodated. What means for you Questions? So Questions as Mediator is a large Topic, but also in the other Counselling contexts, in those you active are. What means the for you, Questions to place and Questions to formulate? Personal find me, is Questions first one Attitude, one Curiosity, a Interest in on Persons, on Relationships, on Objects, on Situations. More as only one pure Technology. Without Interest, believe me,
[5:09]
The attitude of asking questions
[5:08]can one itself in Questions also not train. So in this respect has the for me first these Significance, that one Yes also really know wants, also really one Answer have would like, not only one Question provides, because one es…
[5:19]Man thinks, one should now one place as Mediator. In this respect much more as only pure Craft, believe me. The also however. Well, there Go we equal the Questions from, notice me. So one good Follow-up question, the find I Yes also always one well-considered thing. And when you on the Posture immediately recourse, then are we so right in the middle in one Topic, the Mediators whole, whole Important find, that the Posture vote must. What belongs to because for you there to one good formulated Question, when we times the Technology, the Craft connect with the, what you as curious Posture Underlying lay? Questions is natural also Craft and also Technology, not only Attitude. The needs it also. Your Question draws itself on it from, like must one Question formulated be, so that them good is? When are you Satisfied with yours Questions? Can one the so abstract detached from the Situation describe? Is the something, what so displayable is?
[6:10]Yes, when am I Satisfied with mine Question? The hangs natural a Piece wide from the Context the Situation from. I would say, one good Question is actually the, where I not equal one Answer get. So when I with one Question so one Impulse set, that my dialogue partner or the Interlocutor first times ponder must, that it irritated perhaps also is, about the Impulse also again reflect must, simple also to the Reflect stimulated becomes. The find I actually so the Exciting. So one Question, where I one obvious Answer get and the also light falls, are mostly not so the whole interesting Questions. The must although also placed become and the needs it. I find, one Question may also simple times stand remain, also times unanswered remain, because one maybe, yes.
[6:51]
The art of asking good questions
[6:51]Still Time needs. And the find I actually are so the interesting Questions, like it you there so goes in the Context. For me was the Moment enlightening, where I realised, that I with Questions more inform and give away from me, as that it me therefore goes, Knowledge to get or Information on to get. So this Aspect from, I place one Question, so that I the white and so that I there what experience, the is something, what plausible is and where one also thinks, yes, the makes me from as more curious Human and is important, but in Mediations and in Consultations have I but this Aspect much stronger then in the Focus get, that me, one I don't know, the I bring with me, a Interest in on the others, where I me Thoughts do, where I me consider, technical said one Hypothesis form, that I the stop transport in the Question and them also check and there is for me so to speak this, more interesting Element in this.
[7:55]Intervention technique, Question, bring I mine Thesis on one Kind and Wise over, that the other not in Defence Go must, that he itself not exposed feels, that he not in Resistance goes, Psychological spoken, but that he free ponder can, feel in can and say can, the is one interesting Question and then comes one Answer. The is a Just a moment, in the always clear I would, that we with Questions, we Mediators with Questions much more inform, what we Important find.
[8:27]As that us the Answer interested. The interesting Aspect, the you describe straight, are Yes two Things. The one is yes, I says natural with one Question also something about me from and mine Hypothesis. On the other hand goes it even not so therefore, that we as Mediators Information on get, but Yes also with the Question rather at the other what effect would like. Your Execution has me again to the Reflect brought, because the will I also more often placed. Can I because at all unintentional ask? So when I now Critical would be or pointedly, could I Yes say, well, you pack simple one Statement skilful in one Question, that it the other not notices. And where I him also open leave, the Response room so to speak to be filled in. So the makes the good Question from, that I the other not urge to one from mine Perspective supposedly right Answer, but that he the Freedom has. And then is it but but one Shape from softer Consultancy, that we so that clear make, we hold the for important, about it now to think about, so that you yours Problem, yours Conflict to one Solution lead can. This Aspect of the advice, the Yes not so clumsy comes along, you shall, the becomes Yes mostly underestimated and on favourite made away with. But we are there whole… Whole strong involved and have there also one Difference to perform as honourable Performance.
[9:47]And therefore can we not simple unintentional ask. So who the tasted, can the Yes do, but I white not, what he thereof has. Yes, I believe, it becomes us also even not succeed. I think, we have simple Pictures and Hypotheses all Attitude. I find, there should one also honest be. Yes, exactly. And the Intention, that the other one Solution for itself Build can, for the he also the Responsibility
[10:08]
Asking questions without intention?
[10:06]take over must, the find I yes, is Yes the Reason for the Performance. So therefore commissioned he us Yes also, what we stop not do should, is him to raided and in the Corner to urge with ours Questions or ours Advice. And therefore would I say, one good Question enables Response rooms, the even filled in become must. These Rooms to control, the is with the Question practical also one Information. The hold we for important, about it to think about. to think. I control so a little in the Tangible pure. I have Yes this Essay from you there read, where you the Question compass, the you probably already also in the Master thesis developed have, but I have still times in one later Manual professional Mediation.
[10:47]Discovered, what the Whole still times more handy makes and also good on one Map brings, what we with Questions everything Hire must, may and in the Mediation fortunately also can. Yes, the right. So the was also my Thought with the Compass. Back then in the Master thesis have I also noted, well, it gives countless many, Categorisations from Questions and there loses one whole fast the Overview. Funnies, open Questions, rhetorical Questions, Suggestive questions, Questions, the I only Sundays position, Questions, the I only the or those place may. Questions, the I only Sundays position.
[11:20]The Sunday question, exactly, the Sunday question to the Example. So I find, one loses there fast the Overview. With the Compass can one itself stop the Reproach set up, it is very reduced, but I have tried, so six Question objectives to work out, with with the one also work can and then rather the Goal in the View to hold, as one whole concrete Question. Yes, and the found I the Charming on it. So therefore, I have also some natural Categorisations and Tables and the like to Questions discovered and itself developed. But the charming Variant, the Goal in the View to keep and the Goals, the we have in the Mediation, sometimes in individual Phases, sometimes superordinate, The found I in the Question Compass really whole good illustrated and very usable for the Mediation. Since closes itself the Question for me to, is it from yours Page here exclusively for Mediation thought, these Map? Or have you meanwhile also then Experience made in other Settings, where you say, the Helps me exactly the same, because the whole similar Terrain with itself brings?
[12:22]On each Case. I find, one can with this Compass, the are Yes in this six Fields, marvellous work in Workshop situations, in Situations, where it therefore goes, rather preventive also Expectations to clarify. In the Co-operation to the Example or also in the Sliding degree also Organisations in the Growing together. So also there can one marvellous with this Compass work or even also in
[12:47]
The question compass in mediation
[12:44]Individual settings, in Coaching situations on it to fall back on. The is natural outgoing from the Mediation developed been, but actually a Model, believe me, with the one also good in other Situations work can. Leave us times, whole directive spoken, let us times the six Goals address. What is so to speak illustrated in the Question comment? I make the Graphic then with in the Shownotes, but that we short know, which Goals become in the Compass illustrated? The first Goal is, the Process to clarify. Since goes it so at the Co-operation and the Kind and Wise the Conflict teaching. The is not only something, what on Beginning the Mediation stands, but we clarify Yes actually Ongoing the Process and the Together. The stands although on first Place now in the Compass, but the Compass is now not so in the Senses one Causal chain to understand. Man can there so always again also reach for it. The is so the first Field. And I believe, it is also important, always again also to watch, like is because so the Working alliance? The is so the first Field. And is in the Coaching and Organisational consulting and other Settings.
[13:44]Even as Lawyer must one the Process quite times clarify and address, what the Client itself there also thinks and what he actually wants. Absolutely, exactly. So I believe, these Order currency have we all probably as Mediators also the Experience made, whole, whole more important.
[14:03]
The six objectives of the Question Compass
[13:58]Central Building block, ultimately also so the Basis for Trust and the Cooperation. The would be the first Building block, when I it times so go through. The second Goal is, the Conflict and the Facts of the case to understand. Man could say, the Moves itself rather so on the Factual level, grabs a Piece wide to briefly. So here try I rather so Participants so in their Reality of life to pick up and to look, in which World move them itself. The means, there close itself then Questions to, the so Step for Step the Goal closer bring. Man could say, the are rather still Questions of understanding. What is actually going on? The are also frequently Questions, the not so very, like can one say, perhaps also from Perspective of the Respondents even not so demanding first are. Who is involved? Who white of it? Correct, exactly. So the are actually still not absolutely the Questions, where I much ponder must, but the are rather Questions, on the I me also very fast let in can. I believe, the is also again right. So one should, the is mine Experience, at least not equal with the very demanding, reflexive Questions get in, but rather times like this, it needs a Arrive, warm become, Building trust. The would also at the Conflict Understand still not mean, I illuminate the now with the Questions to very, but it goes first times therefore.
[15:10]So a little the Terrain to stake out. Still not in the Depth to go, at the Conflict in his Diversity to understand, but first times only so one Frame to find. The, what we so sometimes as Conflict resolution have, the have you in one other Compass range accommodated. Exactly, so here goes it really therefore.
[15:29]Participants so in their Reality to reach and to pick up and the Information on together, the I perhaps also otherwise still need. So times so as Example, where stand them today, like experience them the Cooperation, where step Conflicts on, like provides itself the Organisation at the moment up? Such Questions, that one times a Example also has, the fit actually in this Field. The is so the second Field. Perhaps still one small Supplement to the Question to Turning points, find I also still whole interesting. Fits also in this Field. So where gave it Turning points? What was earlier different? Where has itself what developed? I try in the Rule Yes not, the Conflict so in his Chronology complete to capture. So the needs it mostly also not. I think, there must one before all Things in this Field watch out, that it not so investigative Questions are. The has Yes fast so Interrogation character. And also then so one Print, there build I also Pressure on with Questions. So I always so the Word Question squeeze, there must one even also watch out. Because the are so Questions, the serve in addition, fast times someone in one embarrassed Situation to bring. The would be so the Point, that we the Openness burden, that there Answers with pleasure given become and not it to exposing is. The third Field, the aims on it from, Resources and Needs to recognise. And the is for me so the Centrepiece the Mediation.
[16:42]
Recognising needs and resources
[16:42]Other would say, perhaps so Interest phase, but also the is now not only on one Phase in the Mediation limited, but I believe, it draws itself Yes so through the Mediation process also on many Jobs. Now really also on it to watch, can I with the Questions on the one hand a Piece wide Reflection reach and Understanding achieve? And I make Yes the Experience, perhaps have you them also made probably, that it frequently also therefore goes, itself also times a Piece wide itself to understand. So what is because actually that, what me so in one Conflict drives and triggers? What are because the Things, the me Important are? Yes, exactly, what Important is. Also the Motivation understand and…
[17:17]Yes, the is sometimes also for the Participants enlightening to know, yes, right, therefore goes it me. The means, there is the Point so to speak, Needs and Interests to accommodate, as Core, the Colleague Tilman Butcher says Yes like this, the Biomediation, Needs and Interest-orientation, would be the so to speak, there Clarity to find. Okay, but the is still not the last Phase, but you have still the fourth Field, different Perspectives. Exactly, so the is still not the last Field, but when we equal to the next go. Perhaps still a Set, it goes not only at Needs interests, but it goes Yes also therefore, at all Potentials to Recognise and so that ultimately Behavioural options also to expand. The corresponds to so to speak the Basic idea. The means, when we the Needs, Interests behind the Positions understand, the is Yes the Basic logic from Mediators for many in any case, then open itself potentials Areas of the negotiation. Then can one over Negotiate come. When one so not only the individual deadlocked Positions sees, but the behind it, the in Service standing needs.
[18:19]Need would I but still so see, so the would be the one, the Need. It goes but also therefore, Potentials, the can Yes to the Example Skills be, Skills, can also Relationships be or other to recognise. Is something other as a pure Need. I understand like this, the becomes from it derived. Or enquired, yes. Man can the understand, the is not whole, so to speak mine Think, one can the Logic behind it understand. Okay, yes, and like would be yours Think? I see not so very the key in it, that these Presentation behind the Positions, gives it then one Room for Negotiations, that the per se, so that the logically there be must, but there think me, the is the Claim, the Mediation formulated, that the something is, to the the Participants then Yes say, when them in the Mediation go. The is perhaps not clear, but these Willingness to negotiate, the becomes so to speak demanded from Mediation.
[19:19]And who the not brings along, the goes so to speak also not in Mediation.
[19:23]
Change of perspective as the key
[19:23]These Idea, that one so to speak Positions from Interests separates and that the Interests always unconsciously are or at least not co-communicated become, the is so one captivating Logic, from the one somehow not comes out, when one her occurs. But one experienced them stop Relative rare in the Practice. And this Claim, the Mediation brings along, the is like the blind Stain in the Mediation. When we times with the Cases so remain, we have still the next Field. The next Field is Change of perspective. The is strict taken actually a Field, what itself through all Question objectives draws. It goes times therefore, through the Glasses other on one Situation to look. The can I natural on the Needs level make. I can it but also on the Process clarification level Change of perspective times achieve in the Senses from, what believe You, would be Yours Colleagues important, so that he Yes say can to one Mediation.
[20:12]Hey, you, the this Podcast listens. And forget not, him to Rate and one Feedback to give. Many Thanks to. And now goes it continue.
[20:24]Since find I me also total inside again, because the really for me also the Core and the Possibilities opened, the in the Mediation available are, the Perspectives to Hearing to bring and then about it to negotiate, also with itself itself about it to negotiate, what make I because with it, that my other Conflict partner the so and so sees. Since come I Yes not around. So the is so to speak the Logic, the I then strong do. The other is like this, like he is. And what make I so that in the Mediation, when I me in addition decide, here what regulate to want? So there can I on the other enter or I grant him also one Cancellation. The gives it natural also, that Parties to the conflict say.
[21:03]Okay, understand, what you want, but am I ready, in addition something to get? White it not, yes. So I have also the Experience made, in the Most Cases, believe me, reaches the also. When it succeeds, that I at least Understand can, what the other Important is. So I personally have also not the Claim in the Mediation, that one as Party to the conflict the agree must. So I can also Successful Mediation make, by I Things recognise, Things understand, but nevertheless different see. So I need about it none Consent, find me. Sometimes shows itself but also, that so a Automatism there to be seems or sometimes also confirmed or wanted is, that when you the other already understand, then must you but so that also somehow agree be or there somehow what admit and like this. The comes sometimes so from such sayings, the Yes somehow times one Day in the Mockernsia the other run. The has Yes itself ours Foreign Minister already recently in the Interview.
[21:57]Since is Yes one Truth on it, so a Dot, but even none Automatism, that it then also succeeds, but it can also mean, the is enough, so the wants I even not more. And the Freedom there to left. Now are we so a little but rather like in one Procedure inside.
[22:13]
The role of the mediator in questioning
[22:13]Exactly, the has the Impression awakened, but is it actually not. Is not. So sees the also not from, when one the looks at. But me drives so to speak the Question um, like Helps it you, Questions to formulate? So when I now to the Example different Perspectives understand as… As Mission statement, as Objective see, from it now in one Question mode to come? Me Helps that, by I the Goal in the View hold, A, already times also different to listen.
[22:42]In the Regarding on the Target, what I me take. To the Example now stay I times at the Change of perspective, I listen different to. And I personally make me even not so very then the Thoughts about one concrete Question. When I the Goal in the View hold, comes the mostly from whole alone. Since can also times one other Question come. I find, the may one even not so schematic also see. Everyone, the with pleasure times simple schematic Questions what know would like, recommend I the Video from L’Oriot and the Astronaut interview. L’Oriot astronaut interview, very good. Exactly, simple again so watch, can I very recommend. No, so mostly comes the from whole alone. So when one so the View on large Whole has, on Target, comes the ice Question mostly whole alone. Can itself nevertheless also yet, the make I occasionally also, with Hypotheses help. That one says, that I try aware Hypotheses to form, to the Example now to the Change of perspective and try then also in the Preparation times to this Hypothesis now concrete Questions also to formulate, the I then mostly aside lay and anyway not need. But the is also so a practical Instrument. My Acceptance is anyway, the Hypotheses have we Yes so or like this. So really unintentional ask is not possible and in this respect can one itself also aware in Preparation one Mediation times Hypotheses form, important, in different Directions also thought. then manage I from it then the Questions from. The works whole good. The is actually like the Metaphor like this, one directed itself on the Goal from and when one then so to speak mobile enough, Flexible enough remains, then move one Questions then in the Direction, the come then, say you, with the Exercise in any case.
[24:11]Yes, with one Metaphor, my Father has me the said in the first Driving school, when you here one Curve beautiful take want, peep not front, direct before the Bonnet, but peep whole wide at the back, where you towards would like and then take you the Curve from whole alone. Without that you always readjust must. So with this Picture can one perhaps there work. Yes, I believe, it gives one Test or one Study or one Test series from the ADAC. Since goes it not at one Curve, but it goes at the Driving straight ahead between Vices and Motorway crash barrier. And there is the Recommendation whole important, to front to watch, not on the Guard rail or the Vices. Because one drives there, where to one looks. Exactly, exactly. The fits actually. The means but, Now question I you so a little as Instructor again.
[24:55]Training candidates know somehow Relative fast, it goes at Questions in the Mediation.
[25:02]
Training and practice of questioning techniques
[24:59]And then is fast the Idea, I must the right Question find. And the means, I must somehow me one Plan make and I write me Questions on or like this. So like teach you so to speak the Ask questions, when the Alignment on the Goals the Important is? So where say you, the is simple, so learns one Ask questions and so can one itself there train also. The seems not a by heart Learning to be from…
[25:24]Certain Questions? I believe, one must first times understand, what is actually the Goal? What understand I under the Goal? So when I now times the Change of target perspective take, Why is the Important in the Mediation and in the Process? I believe, the must I good understand. And then can one quite also times in Training situations with concrete Questions also times work. I am there not whole so dogmatic. I have also itself the Experience made, that it sometimes Helpful be can, itself times a pair Questions to formulate, to practise, also times to reformulate. Since may it also a little Craft be. I white not, like in addition yours Experience is, but I find, it is simple also Training and the gives also a Piece wide Security. It is Yes like with one Cheat sheet. I find, one may also times one Cheat sheet write and in the Rule looks one Yes there not on it. Yes, the goes also like this, exactly. So I find, with the Didactics here can one the also quite times also so practise. Find I completely OK. The Flight altitude must there not whole so high be. Exactly. I have me also Questions noted, the I simple great found and the were then for me so pegged. And where the Freedom of the Moving then in one Conversation between various Questions, the comes then with the Time, when I a pair safe Clues have. And I have also so Emergency questions, so so one Handful Questions, the I always place can, when I times not more white. Have you a Example? Yes, yes, yes. But sometimes, when already under us, then can I also honest be, sometimes listen I also not to or ramble from and then have I the Rest not understood.
[26:45]And then can one also already times say, so OK, when You the so towards and here listen, discuss, what You so moves, where stand You because now in the Mediation with it? Can I always place. The is one Emergency question for me, when I times actually not more white and again one Positioning need. And I find it important, also on Beginning like this, that one white, I have in the Emergency so three or five Questions, the I then ready have and place can.
[27:10]So for me is simple so one Emergency question. I have the Yes also as,
[27:17]
Emergency issues in mediation
[27:14]is none Question teaser, but rather so before the Bracket drawn in mine Question Compass. The is so the concretising Question. What means for you not get ahead? Ability You me the straight still times explain? Or what Understand You? You because under the aspect? I find, the is not only so to speak one Question the Question at the Question will, but the are but also already mostly Questions, the again help can, because one even under Terminology sometimes what whole other understands. The can again help, there a common Picture also to draw or at least times a Understanding. So quite also productive, but so one Emergency question. The find I also legitimate. So the needs it also. So I can me remember, that I on Beginning always very excited was with such Processes, also in Coaching. And then was I happy, when I so three, four Questions had, the me calms have, whole simple. Sometimes had to I the then not place, but the was good to know. And that we again on Training come back, the try I also in the Training, that one also again whole targeted then Questions practises, on one Example case, that one itself really times exercises and now practises and trained one even times only reflective Questions or resource-orientated Questions or now even times only the Change of perspective, so that one simple focussed times so a Question field, a Target question illuminated. The gives also again a Piece wide Security.
[28:22]What would be so at the Change of perspective questions? So because many think, yes, then Go but times in the Perspective of the other and the is more so one Recommendation or sometimes also so Directive. What are Questions, the so the Change of perspective stimulate, ring in should, effect? Exactly, I can Yes different Perspectives, so I can Yes on the one hand the Perspective the present Mediants, Parties to the conflict illuminate. So I say, You can Yes times try, the Situation through the Glasses the Colleague to view. The believe You, is Your Colleague Important in the Handling with each other. Exciting find I but also, when one again the System extended and External perspectives with to the company.
[28:59]Assumed, now see I Yours Customer here with on Table. What would be probably so the Claims Your Customers or Expectations Your Customers? And also there times so the Circle to expand. so so can one the good illuminate, yes, then really also times a little smaller train or also on own Situations train. The find I also good, also in the Mediation training, because one then simple also stronger again feels, like works so one Question, when one a own Example also has. Therefore one important Point, that we remember, which Effects ours Questions have. The seems something to be, what one actually only, when one itself times so questioned was, clear becomes, like strange these Questions are, like Everyday them also then are, that one sometimes surprised is also, that one itself for normal holds as Mediator. So have you Situations, where someone really says, what is because the for one Question? Where one really Surprises notices. On each Case, yes. Have I also already experienced. Or has probably each already times also experience, that then the Eyes rolled become. Or one says, the Question can I even not answer. Or what have itself there for one Question thought up. So Irritation, find me, is also completely OK. It becomes also not each Question Allow maybe.
[30:13]Yes, you had earlier said, You have before the Bracket somehow drawn. What means that, that you before the Bracket something name? Exactly, so before the Bracket means, the are so Questions, the actually or Methods, the I always, no matter in which Question objectives or in Question field, the I me move, apply can. In addition belongs to for me on the one hand this Concretise. Offers itself actually always also to, really also again to understand, what means the concrete? How provides itself the represent? Have You a Example? In which Situation can You times XY define? And the second is the active Listen.
[30:45]The sounds whole trivial and banal, but without good Listen none good Question. Because otherwise is the each other pure from incoherent Questions. So I must good listen and the Listen would be for me always still more important as the good Questions. Because in the Rule can I also, is Yes with the Listen also one Question connected. I need back simple the Voice a little lift and a Question mark behind it set. Have I actually also already mine Question formulated? It comes then again what on New. Therefore are the the Things, the I before the Bracket draw would. Yes, understand. The is very plausible. When one this Question compass takes, would I now as first think, OK, one has him learnt or one white so to speak, itself in the Map find your way around. How apply you the on? So is it for you a pure Thinking concept, in the you you move, while you to front speak? Or do you the explicit also as Map and say you, the is so the Area, the we tread become. How apply you the on? You have Yes earlier said, in Workshops can one the good apply.
[31:41]Yes, also in Mediation, one must there none Mystery from the Methodology and from his Procedure make. It is one A tightrope walk, when one so a Conflict is, is one Yes also sometimes even none Ear or perhaps also not the Openness, itself then still with the Methodology to deal with. Man leaves itself Yes also a Piece wide on the Mediators, on the Mediators. I speak the also whole open on and says also, where move we us and find in the Context also something important, namely the common Develop also the Questions. So even not only itself Questions to place, but the Participants, the Mediants also with integrate at the Formulate the Questions. Why should them because not in the Location be, itself also the Questions to formulate? The, find me, is also one Question Recognition the Autonomy, Recognition but also the Personal responsibility, also the Expertise. That one not only as Mediator Questions formulate can, but even also as Parties to the conflict. And with those then quite also sometimes playful or also less playful times work can, Questions reformulate can. what changed itself, by one one Question to the Example reformulated, the find I Helpful and there can one quite Transparent work, so my Understanding. Straight the find I By the way also still one good Method, when one itself times speechless is. So which Question could I You now still place? Which Question Helps You now go on?
[32:53]About which Question think You after? Which Questions bring You with? Then also stronger the Mediants yes, like can one say, tap, would be perhaps the false Term. Yes, but already, so itself to the Expression bring, what now What now not absolutely requested is or was so far, but Important is. And the are Yes also polite. And when them remember, that them stop questioned become, then answer them also only on that, what asked becomes. And then again the Room to Open and to watch, what have we because now still not addressed, goes them but through the Head. The was actually or is also straight mine Question been, what still Important is, what we at the Topic Questions still not expect. Discussed have now, but for you so to speak a whole central Topic is. Yes, so straight these Questions to Questions. So the find I is times a more important Aspect. It exists even Participation and
[33:45]
Questions as part of the solution
[33:41]also the Possibility, itself to bring in in Decisions. The find I still times a whole more important Aspect. And I find there namely also important, that the Reflect about the right Question already also Part the Solution is. Also in the Mediation experience I the whole frequently, that man, one could Yes also say, one rises in, makes classic Collection of topics, Agenda and zack, then goes it go. I have quite also experienced, that the right Formulate one Question, with the one itself deal would like in one Mediation, occasionally also to short comes.
[34:11]The other way round, when one really also tried, is it exactly that, for which we now Answers need, already one Giant step continue. So the would be the one. So there would I again on the Hand give. And the second, what I still also Important find, Reference on the Questions, The is also a Question objective, the is so this transformative Learning, name I that. For me at least means Mediation Yes not only on End of the Day one Agreement to have and then goes it in the Realisation, Hook on it and good is, but for me is Mediation and that, what happens, at least in the conflicts, the I so have, are Yes mostly in the Work organisation context, where it so also at Shaping relationships goes. Since goes it even also therefore, a Piece wide what to learn, Behaviour to change, Sample to change And the even with Questions also again skilful to reflect, the find I is again a more important Point, the sometimes Yes more important is as one concrete Agreement, the on Aeroplane stands. I white not, what there so yours Claim is. I would it under transformative Work.
[35:06]Yes, I believe, we come not out from conflicts, without what to learn. The is sometimes Helpful and sometimes not helpful, but we create it not, without to learn, not only through such Processes to come, but in general. So we learn Yes also in the Conflict, when he destructive runs. I have the Claim on transformative or Development work always very high assessed, straight also so in Occupations with Mediation. In the Practice however plays the none Role or much less, so much less, that it almost none Role plays. Since would I the carry forward, that the now also still Important is. The is a Topic of the Mediators or the Mediation idea. For the Parties to the conflict experience I the as overstraining there inside to reflect.
[36:00]So now a pair Conflicts take or like this, the can the Months and years later again for itself reflect. But also in Organisational conflicts, when it not the Aspect from more strategic Foresight with itself brings, so that the already again in the Service of the common Economic activity placed is, there find me, is the again interesting. More detached from.
[36:26]Personality transformative development steps. Since hold I me in the Practice really back, because I there rather the Fear have, the is now overstraining and is already much worth, when one one Hook on Conflict make can and say can, you manage. Since find I already, here would have one genuine good Labour made. The Transformative, what learn I for me personally or what learn we even also as Group or as Team? But the Question is yes, like goes one so that around? Now have you as Themes in one Project edited, Hook on it, solved. Tomorrow comes the next Topic on the Table, what you now in the Mediation still even not in the View had. When I you now so right understand, would you say, the plays for you even not so the large Role, the aware so to speak in the View to take,
[37:07]
Transformation and learning in mediation
[37:06]to say, like goes one because with future Themes around? Yes, when the a Conflict was, the to one Mediation led has, then is the so to speak so a lot, that I the not still on top take in the Frame this Clarification discussions. Where it frequently comes, when the realisation comes, that it so one Follow-up appointment gives, a pair Months later, where one really again look back can.
[37:28]But then also really with Distance. I would the not in the Meeting before the Closing agreement allude to. But so in the Aftercare or there comes a Follow-up order and the can one again on the from earlier to tie in. Then make I the methodical with strong. But otherwise believe me, that the Participants anyway for itself the Things learn. But the is like said in the Practice from Mediation, in the Reflect from Mediation and in the Formulate from mediative Claims find I the one whole authorised and whole valuable Thoughts and also important Thoughts, because the something is, what actually the Mediation as Conflict procedure make out can. This future-orientated and if possible the Things collect, the one really as Learnings has. Yes, in the Practice is the not from me explicit methodical recorded. The Mediants, there am I me quite safe, the make the for itself anyway. Yes, the is namely something, what me actually also in last Time strong or stronger also busy. I formulate it times like this, in the Mediation, the Agreement is for me like one Kind Training plan. The have we now to the 1. December or to the 1. January set up. The actual Labour catches Yes in the Realisation to, in the Training, on 2. January or on 3. January or on 31. December. And what can Mediation in the Training phase afford? The would be for me also the Transformer and that, find me, is one Freedom. We can itself on it get involved.
[38:47]How in the Sport even, Trackings and Wernphasen. Sometimes reaches it even not only, that one itself agreed and itself in the Eyes looks, so makes one it now. The The challenge is then on Day two. But I can the good understand. The is a important Topic. The can I in the Work areas or like this, where it actually at these Realisation phase then goes, the succeed must and one the also rehearse must, sometimes new Routines. Since listens for me also Mediation still not with the Closing agreement on. These Realisation phase hold I for whole, whole important, them in the Mediation procedure to enter.
[39:25]
Favourite questions and their meaning
[39:22]And then gives it sometimes so Follow-up appointments and sometimes also only a Phone call. The belongs to for me already still in addition, because the Realisation phase the Relevant is. There, Has one then on least Influence also. But Bernhard, to the Conclusion, whole clichéd, have you one Favourite question and when yes, Which ones? I have already almost so that calculated, that these Question comes.
[39:46]So when I one Question take with you should on the Island, then would be probably with me the important Question. So why is the for them important? Is probably now also not completely surprising and also not total original, but for me so mine Top 1. But the Area, the was really for me the most illuminating also in the Fonts in addition, the you formulated have. So the Important question in their Diversity and in their Frequency, so that them also really placed becomes. Because the is actually for me also the central, methodological Approach, the Parties benevolent to triezen. What about goes it them here? What can them, what want them achieve? Therefore find I these Focussing on the Important question, also already the Title as such, find I great. Have you also one Favourite question, Counter question?
[40:36]Not so directly. I have certain Situations in Mediation, the find I beautiful. And there happy I me, when the realisation come. And I hope simple, that them then, when I the so say, then not itself in Air dissolve, because all the before then learn. But it gives so these Situation, that Mediants so say, I white Yes not, what the itself there thinks, but so goes it simple not. And when so these Formulation, I white Yes not, what the itself thinks, then question I afterwards always so with Peace and quiet and Determination. And them want the know, what he thinks? Or to what extent want them the know? Or is the one Question for them, what he thinks? To simple there Relationships produce and really on each other to enter and clear to make, it goes therefore, that, what we in the Head have, in the Communication to bring and not as clarifying, cutting off Argument to bring, but really itself to trust. The other is Yes mostly there. When one on one Törf sits, then has one the great Opportunity, to enquire and must itself not in his Fantasies pass. The is for me one beautiful Situation. Beautiful. Good, now know we it.
[41:46]Bernhard, many Thanks to for the Conversation about Questions, what itself before all with Questions driven forward has, but also whole many Answers for me had in store. Many Thanks to in favour. I Thank you also. Has me much Fun made and much Fun on Questions. Until soon.
[42:03]Thank you you. My Conversation with St Bernard Boehm was that, Mediator, Instructor here from Leipzig also, longstanding Colleague, Lawyer colleague, with the I me about Questions maintain have, about the Technology, the Craft from Questions, about inner Alignments, what so to speak the Questions has the following effects, where we Questions scoop out can. And there was but the Core content and the is stop but also one Technology, the but but away is from the Question technique, that we the Goal in the View retain, that we in each Phase from Mediation or also with each Question to control. And when we this Goal in the View retain, so also Bernhards Statement, then come the Questions also in their Diversity to the Carry. It needs not so to speak the Search to the only right Question to the right Moment recorded to become. The war’s for this Times. Many Thanks to, that you with thereby were. When you the please has, then snap you yours Smartphone, give one Star rating from and leave behind one Comment. Subscribe the Podcast, say yours Colleagues Notification, that here podcasted becomes. And so that say goodbye I me for the Just a moment. Until to the next Times. Comes good through the Time. I am Sascha Weigel, yours Host from INKOVEMA, the Institute for Conflict and Negotiation management in Leipzig and Partner for professional Mediation and Coaching training programmes.
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