#26 EdM – Understanding counselling and mediation
What do we do and what do we work on if we don't provide advice and solutions?
Episodes of mediation.
The podcast on practical questions about mediation and conflict management.
This is episode 26 – Understanding counselling and mediation in process counselling
What do we do and what do we work on if we don't provide advice and solutions?
Chapter
0:30 Introduction to mediation and conflict coaching
3:46 The role of the counsellor in conflict
7:37 Overview and clarity in the counselling process
9:13 Metaphors from childhood
11:24 Conclusion and outlook for the future
Summary
In this episode, we look at the fundamental understanding of counselling in the context of mediation and conflict coaching. Using a metaphor of the dark forest, I explore how clients feel in difficult situations when they don't know how to move forward. It also discusses what our role as mediators and coaches entails in these moments. We avoid prescribing solutions and instead get clients to reflect on and analyse their own situation.
I emphasise that it is a crucial task to give the client an overview of their situation. They often find themselves at a metaphorical crossroads, surrounded by trees that block the view of possible paths. My job is to help them determine their position in the „forest“ and to think about where they are coming from and where they want to go. It is crucial to recognise that we do not have the solutions to their problems, but that the client is the expert of their own situation. It is important to help them see around the forest and identify the different options available to them.
In this episode, I also address the emotional aspect and explain how feelings play a role, but are not the core of our counselling work. Our aim is not only to guide the client towards themselves or their inner conflicts, but to help them gain clarity about their current situation. The path to the top, symbolised by climbing a viewing tower in the forest, enables the client to look at things from a new perspective, reflect on the past and make well-founded plans for the future.
An important element of our work is to invest enough time to allow for these changes of perspective and retrospectives. Clients are often frustrated at first because they think they are not making any progress. Nevertheless, it becomes clear that understanding their situation and exploring possible ways forward is already a valuable step. Finally, I draw parallels with my own childhood in the Ore Mountains, where the landscape and these metaphors have a deeper meaning for me. I emphasise that in our counselling work we don't have to stand in front of our clients or lag behind them, but that we can set out together to make progress in challenging situations and define the next goal.
Transcription
[0:24]The is Consequence 26.
[0:30]
Introduction to mediation and conflict coaching
[0:30]Understanding counselling for Mediation and Conflict coaching in the dark Forest not know more.
[0:36]These Consequence would like I utilise, not on the basis of one only Case the Topic of the understanding of counselling prepare, but something Fundamentals to the Understanding counselling to say, because the not only in the Mediation with the Order clarification one Role plays, but also in Training contexts always again Clarity required respectively also Questions raises. Yes, what make we because actually as Mediators and as Coaches? And to this Topic could itself one whole Quantity say. And there was also already insane much written. Therefore would like I here in this Episode a whole own Picture design, the me helps, mine Labour and mine Task and also my Understanding of roles to clarify. And the has what with the dark Forest to do. So much to the Preface. So like Mediators, at least in local climes, on it pay attention, none Solution to specify, are Business coaches and Supervisors on it considered, none Advice to issue. Whether already exactly the Yours first common, when also possibly the only Advice is, the You give, itself on a such Procedure to get involved. But what shall the bring? For Training candidates and Beginner lies exactly here one first Test of endurance. Sich the Sense and the Benefit one such Procedure to open up. Because intuitive is the not at all.
[2:05]Intuitive Go we from one Specialist counselling from. The Expert as Consultant white from his Specialised discipline more as the Consultants, the the Problem has. And therefore is Brother council expensive.
[2:20]Whilst for Process advises the holy Cow is, that the Problem carrier, the problem-bearing Person, the Expert his Problems is and also stay shall and therefore with him also the Solution lies. And there likes itself the one or other already ask, what do I there as Coach, as Mediator, when but the Solution anyway already with the other lies, mine Clients, mine Mediants. And these Question would like I with mine whole personal inner Picture here answer. My inner Picture corresponds to one Person, the in the seal dark Forest stands and not more white. Possibly on one Crossroads with many Turnoffs, but not know, what is the right.
[3:08]None Concern, the is also none biographical Childhood experience from the Ore Mountains, where I come from. In any case not in the narrower senses. In mine Childhood was the Rain sour and the Forest, as far as at all available was, very light. No, it goes here already at the dark Forest. And nevertheless have I natural Erzgebirge Hill before the inner Eye. Since come I perhaps later again in addition. Since is so someone or several in one Conflict, the in the seal Forest not more know, itself in the Circles turn, on all sides look around and only Forest discover. Trees, the none Path reveal.
[3:46]
The role of the counsellor in the conflict
[3:46]Sometimes threatens Panic. The Need, itself crouch down, Place to take, is large, but it must Yes somehow continue. But Where to?
[3:55]What is so mine Task as consulted Consultant or also Mediator?
[4:02]In any case not, him the Path to show. I white Yes even not, where to he wants and whence he comes. No, mine Task is it, him one Overview to enable, one Positioning, the it him permitted, his Path in the right Direction to continue. And the is not only one Question of the forest, where he itself is located, but the has also what with him to do, whence he comes and where to he wants. As Consultant see I only the Snapshot, that he in this Situation, in this Forest, in this Constitution not more white. But whether the a 100 metres Run is or a Marathon or a Ultramarathon, I white it not. And therefore can I not say, where he itself located and like wide it still to the Goal is, respectively where itself the is located. But like the also in the Ore Mountains so is, these Persons ask already, where am I here landed? Where goes it go on? And the required one more detailed Conversation, to the I as Consultant and Mediator with pleasure ready am. I take over so with pleasure the Order, this Person one Bird's eye view to enable and to recognise, where comes he here?
[5:17]Where located he itself concrete and where to like his Paths him lead? And itself for one this Paths then to decide. And then can we us also say goodbye. And the is also in the Mediation like this, that I this Persons as a Conflict system make it possible, the Joint perspective to take and from there from to recognise, like have we us there moves, like have we us inside manoeuvred and like come we here again out. And be it also on different Because of. This Picture has Consequences. I understand mine Labour not in it, him to lead, him from the Forest to lead or the like more, but the Base one Continuation to create, so in the best Senses one Positioning to enable. My Labour exists only to one small Part in it, him to itself itself to lead, to his feelings, to his Inner life etc. The is for me only in this respect from Relevance, as that these Phenomena in the Path stand can, these Positioning good and comprehensive to be carried out. Who straight frightened, itself on the next best Tree crouches, the is hardly in the Location, the highest Tree to climb, at from there from itself Clarity about his Location to procure. Is logical.
[6:39]His Feelings and be Inner life can but a strong Motivator be, even this Tree or the next Clearing to reach, at from there from more See to can. So Feelings play already one Role, but not the one Key function, like perhaps in one Therapy.
[6:57]So, mine Labour exists not in it, metaphorical him from his Location to continue or generally to lead, but him one Overview to grant, him to the Overview to enable, so that he with Foresight and Clarity sees, like his Situation realisation came and like them at the moment procure is and what it needs, at them to change. These Labour is sometimes tedious. Sometimes are only Trees available, the climbed up become want. Sometimes is there also a Observation tower or one Platform in the Proximity and stands
[7:37]
Overview and clarity in the counselling process
[7:34]to the available, the utilised become could, at View to win. But them would like also climbed become. And a more important Part the Labour exists in it, itself there top to look around, in all Peace and quiet and not equal the first best Path to select, to descend and to go further, but, when one already once the Labouriousness upset has, itself right to look around, one Location to climb, from the one such Review with Foresight also possible is, and the Things in 360 Degree to explore, where one Past reflect can and Future in more radical Openness well-considered select can.
[8:13]Then must one itself in favour Time take. And then rise we also together again down to the Position, where we us encounters were. And not rare comes then also one Remark, completely to Law in the Metaphor, now am I also still none Step continue. And yes, the right. Nevertheless is it a cosy, calming Feeling to know, that before one none Abyss is, or when there one was, this bypassed become can and the inner Abysses anyway good explored were on the Path to above.
[8:49]And to the Conclusion this small Episode to the understanding of counselling, the I on the basis of one Metaphor try to clarify, come I but again on the Ore Mountains back. Because in the Preparation was me clear, that my inner Picture with the Forest and the Observation tower and the Possibility, Overview to win,
[9:13]
Metaphors from childhood
[9:11]narrow with the Ore Mountains connected is. Because in mine Childhood gave it this Berg, the so-called Gallows Hill, about the one itself the terrible Stories tells has, the one itself in one Small town from the Middle Ages tells and the for me one good Abbreviation was, from the one Location to the other to come, when I to the Sport gone am or the like, but the I never Go wanted and already even not, when it dark was in the Winter. And this Mountain velvet his Trees and the Viewing platform on the Top, the again climbed become could, but not was allowed.
[9:48]Bot one very good Overview, Prudence and View on the surrounding Ore Mountains. Man could wide look and but see, that one on the Gallows Hill was and when one again back wanted, through the Forest had to.
[10:08]These Metaphor Helps me and possibly also you and let me the know, whether it the Case is, what we for one Task have and like we ours Relationship to ours Clients organise can on one very basal, narrative Level. Namely, that we not the Clients lead. We must none Step ahead be and also not hang behind. We encounter us in one possible Emergency situation, in one difficult Situation, in the the Client or the Client system in one Conflict not more white. In principle already continue could, but the Fear has, the Mess becomes only always deeper. And here is it important, one Overview to get, one Review to enable, one Outlook to grant and also one current Perspective again to win, at so that then the next Step to Plan and the Path to lead the way. And the is what worth. And probably the, the in one such Situation itself is located, one Person finds, the the made possible.
[11:24]
Conclusion and outlook for the future
[11:25]And on the other hand is the one sense- and joyful Work, like I me hardly one other introduce can.
[11:33] Music
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