The drama triangle as a concept for analysing and intervening in mediation

Conflict mediators take on the task of (firstly) understanding the conflict dynamics between the parties involved and making them comprehensible, (secondly) drawing the appropriate conclusions for themselves and the necessary interventions and (thirdly) thus initiating the mediation process and, if possible, leading it to a successful conclusion.

For this work, the - in transactional analysis developed - Drama triangle from Karpman excellent.

The drama triangle of St Karpman

The drama triangle illustrates the psychological roles that constitute the conflict, which are individually fulfilled by the people involved. In this way, the participants create psychological games that are modelled and therefore to a certain extent predictable. For mediators, the Knowledge of such patterns is helpful in order to be able to intervene and "irritate" accordingly - and thus interrupt the patterns that by their very nature escalate and exacerbate conflict.

The drama triangle shows almost archetypal Patterns of conflict escalation on.

In the drama triangle there are the "Persecutor", "victim" and the "saviour" role, that constitute, maintain and escalate the conflict.

The arrows indicate that the roles can be switched - within the same conflict and actually within a few seconds! The dynamic arises in the conflict from the rapid change of roles!

Example: If the social role is based more on persecutory elements (e.g. public prosecutor) or on rescuing elements (e.g. paramedic) or on victims (e.g. job seeker or alcoholic), the psychological role is by no means fixed. The rapid "jumping in the drama triangle", which describes the psychological roles, not the social(!), is what makes the conflict really "socially significant".

Similarities between the roles in the drama triangle

What the roles have in common is that they not authentic or as "fake" are experienced: The people act stereotypically, act as they are "used to". This is also how they are experienced by others. In other words, everyone knows more or less what we think and how it feels to be betrayed and abandoned by the world (victim role) or to feel absolutely in the right and to be allowed to stalk the other person so that they "finally admit it" (persecutor role). And we all know how it feels and what we think when we have to help others(!) and nothing else seems possible but to save them (saviour role). And we all have images and people in our heads who fulfil one of these roles for a certain period of time and could observe and describe how these "people" behave in the individual roles. We know these stereotypes and have "been allowed" to experience people in our lives in this way.

Another element is that the roles are always characterised by Devaluations of the participants who are in contact with each other.

The chasing role in the drama triangle

The persecutor role is often favoured by people who belittle others, criticise them excessively, (want to) punish them or even seriously hurt them. The preferred topic of communication is Criticism, accusation and condemnation; other people are criticised and "picked on". The corresponding basic attitude is "I'm okay, you're not okay". Typically, people who take on the role of persecutor cultivate a substitute feeling of annoyance. All of this devalues and disregards their own need for closeness and intimacy (familiarity!) on the one hand and the value and dignity of other people on the other.

The role of the victim in the drama triangle

The (communicative) theme of the victim role is one's own helplessness and the supposed rejection by others. This role is not only filled with open helplessness, but also with alluring shyness, seductive childishness or supposed ignorance to the point of clumsy awkwardness. People who favour this role have the basic attitude "I'm not OK, you're OK", sometimes also "I'm not OK, you're not OK". Substitute feelings of anxiety and sadness are often noticeable. In all of this, people massively devalue their problem-solving skills or simply ignore them.

The saviour role in the drama triangle

Topics of the rescuer role are liberation and redemption, security and comfort. In terms of communication, a The victim is offered a certain omniscience (at least as far as the problems of the identified victim are concerned) and (re-)acted upon and sometimes maltreated with sometimes unspeakable compassion, expressions of concern and boundless willingness to help, but also with unsolicited advice and acts of rescue. The rescuer role - just like the persecutor role - is fulfilled on the basis of "I'm okay, you're not okay" in the social field. This becomes clear in the devaluation of the victim roles, whose ability to help themselves is disregarded, ignored and devalued in this sense. After all, the rescuer role necessarily requires victims in order to be a rescuer.

A little over-pointed: Rescuers fix victims so that they can remain rescuers.Sometimes there is no other way to make contact with rescuers than to approach them with a "victim status". In the rescuer role, their own need for equal (and therefore equally emotionally risky) contact is ignored. Frequently, substitute feelings of (self-important) superiority and (unfounded) certainty of a solution precede the "actual" feelings of fear and insecurity, but also sadness and anger. This is where the transactional analysis concept of substitute feelings helps us to gain a better understanding.

The practical use of the drama triangle

The applications within a mediation process are manifold. The graphic is quickly visualised and the concept described in a few words. In my experience, the participants quickly gain a mental image and can transfer the model to their current situation. They intuitively recognise their own dynamics and gain a new perspective on their conflict escalation.

Sooner rather than later, the question arises as to what to do if you "no longer want to act in the drama triangle": and there is already the opportunity to apply the model self-referentially. Because this is where the temptation to save sneaks through the servants' entrance into the MediationAs a mediator, you do not save the parties, but support them. In this respect, as a mediator you can play the question back to the parties and ask them yourself. As a rule, you know which answers are helpful and what needs to be done to avoid continuing to act in the drama triangle.

For the MediationThe triangle metaphor is even more suitable for mediation, which regularly takes place at a round table. If they are sitting at a round table, as recommended in mediation textbooks, they can playfully deal with these material references. Their centre embodies the centre of responsibility, to which everyone has the same distance/proximity and therefore shares responsibility.

In this metaphor of the Round mediation table as an alternative to the drama triangle, may use the Guiding principles of mediation with the concerns of transactional analysis. (You can find a detailed description of the guiding principles of mediation in this article here).

What generally helps "in the fight against the drama triangle"

When faced with people who are caught up in the role of persecutor, it is often worth seeing people who are used to not being listened to, even though they had and have a lot to say. This is why they often find it difficult (out of habit) to communicate in a way that people are happy to listen to.

When dealing with people who have become entangled in a victim dynamic, the idea that they are "waiting people" seems beneficial. People who are waiting for the right people to genuinely apologise. This allows appropriate compassion to be activated without lapsing into inappropriate pity (typical "saviour" reaction).

People in the rescuer role are also waiting, as it were: They are waiting for the right person(s) to sincerely say "Thank you!". This is where the mediator should take care for and with himself.

What experience have you had with the drama triangle in your mediations?