INKOVEMA Newsletter

Mediation and conflict management

# 40

A. Key topics:

– International Mediation,

– Secrets and

– Separation of couples

B. Concepts for mediation

– Part 8: 3D negotiations

International mediation

– In December 2018, the UN General Assembly adopted the United Nations Convention on International Settlement Agreements based on Mediation harmonised the legal framework for such agreements. This is a great success for mediation efforts worldwide. The UN Commission on International Trade Law (UNCITRAL) had previously drawn up this work, which became known as the „Singapore Convention“.

  • The agreement is a Instrument to facilitate international trade and to the Promotion of mediation as an alternative and effective method for resolving trade disputes. This could reduce costly international arbitration proceedings.
  • As a binding international instrument, it is expected to provide certainty and stability to the international mediation framework and thus contribute to the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), in particular SDG 16.
  • Here you can download the text from United Nations Convention on International Settlement Agreements Resulting from Mediation read in original.
  • Here you can view the Working version of the Federal Bar Association read in German.
  • Here you can view the Statement of the BRAK which welcomes the agreement. read more.

Secrets and their consequences – effort, shame, conflict, but also security and protection

– People are struggling with 38 types of secrets around. Some are easy to live with, but a handful leave us in no peace. It's no longer a secret what secrets are all about.  read more

  • Complete list of secrets: Slepian, Michael L.,Chun, Jinseok S.,Mason, Malia F., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology – The experience of secrecy, 2017, pp. 1-33. Link
  • The Founder of the secret categories is Michael Slepian. Here go to the CV.
  • Short press article on the topic Link

 Shame, fear and striving for perfection – The battle with and against the body and the reasons for an Instagram account read more

– But secrets are also good and valuable – and are used in education, e.g. for Abuse prevention work used. Link

Couples and separations

Instructions for separation – how couples can really succeed. Interview with couples therapist Rüdiger Wacker. read more

Escalation drivers in couple relationships or, as the US-American psychologist John Gottmann calls it, the „four apocalyptic horsemen of couple interaction“:

  1. Getting a word in edgewise
  2. Devaluing each other
  3. reproach each other
  4. stalk or deprive each other. continue reading and listening

– In addition a Recommended readingChristian Roesler, Paarprobleme und Paartherapie, Theorien, Methoden, Forschung, Kohlhammer Verlag, 2018. Publisher link

Concepts for mediation

Part 8: 3D negotiations

The concept of 3D negotiations comes from David A. Lax and James K. Sebenius. They have significantly introduced the idea into negotiation science that negotiation success is not only achieved at the negotiating table, but also "away from the table". What has already been sown and secured is usually reaped at the negotiating table.

The Model of the 3D negotiation makes it clear that there are three important dimensions that make up effective and successful negotiation. It argues in favour of not only formulating concepts and strategies for the actual negotiation space, the discussions at the negotiating table, but also focusing more on the requirements away from the negotiating table and one's own mental attitudes towards the negotiating partner and the subject matter.