Opening questions for mediation and in organisational mediation

Checklists are one of those things. They help to keep track of things in complex, cognitively overwhelming situations. And they restrict, lock out creativity and spontaneity – especially in social situations that are ultimately unpredictable.

However, these effects are usually spread over time. Beginners are supported by checklists, everyone else hardly needs them.

Short; The following post is primarily aimed at prospective mediators, beginners in the field of conflict resolution with the actual conflict parties present.

I. Area of application and period of application

Firstly, I would like to explain various constellations that suggest a specific approach in each case.

• There is the straight classic Private individual initiative in a private, non-organisational conflict. Two parties are in a conflict in which at least one party has the idea that a professional, external person should and could help. In this case, a mediator is googled, searched for and contacted, sometimes directly by phone or at least by e-mail.
• Sometimes a Neutral, commissioned organisation person who is not a party to the conflict. This may be the responsible office in the HR or Human Resources department or the department or management personally. Then it's about a „source of conflict“ in the organisation, which has usually existed for a while and is known. However, it is now time to intervene or to request external conflict support.
• Sometimes a Conflicting party from the organisation. In these cases, a special approach is required in order to preserve the possibilities of mediation and to avoid acting too hastily.

1. individual private initiative asks for mediation

This constellation is almost classic. One party to the conflict wants to change the current situation and goes in search of mediation support, has already read up on the subject of mediation, has spent a few nights googling or has taken a friend's advice to heart and now contacts a mediator.

Which questions should be addressed in the first meeting in any case and perhaps already clarified? What is necessary to be able to assess whether you can be helpful to the conflict parties with your mediation skills?

The recommendation is not to simply ask these questions one after the otherbut into an atmospherically harmonious conversation and the Collect answers (for yourself).

Practical tip: Sometimes you don't even need to ask a specific question because the caller already provides the answer herself or gets there by other means. If they have decisive patience!

• Introductory questions
  • How can I support you?
  • Why have you come to me?
  • What prompted you to seek support right now?
• Conflict
  • What are the key data of the conflict for you? (Parties, points of contention, which are mostly rejected solution ideas, duration)
  • What has been done and attempted so far to rectify the situation in your opinion?
  • What is the good reason for this enquiry now? Why not sooner/later?

• Conflict resolution approaches?
  • Is the opposing party to the conflict aware of the desire for conflict mediation?
  • Does the opposing party to the conflict know about this initiative and contact?
  • Are you acting in concert with each other?
  • Who else needs to be informed?

• Conflict resolution approach: Mediation
  • What worries and fears or hopes and wishes arise for you and your conflict partner when you think about mediation (with me)? (break it down in the conversation!)
  • What else do you need to know about me in order to work with me?
  • Who do you think should be invited?
  • Who else could contribute to a solution?

• First contact outputs
  • Next steps?
  • Assuming that works well with us. What has changed for you specifically? What do you think has changed for your conflict opponent or partner?
  • Who informs the opposing party to the conflict?

2. appointed neutral organisation person requests mediation

• How can I support you?
• Why have you come to me?
• What prompted you to seek support right now?
• What do I need to know as an external mediator to be helpful to you (both)?
• Who in the organisation/family/club etc. knows that you have contacted me or called me?
• Are you acting on behalf of and with the knowledge – of whom?
• Who should I then contact in your organisation who can formally frame this procedure?
• What worries, hopes, fears or wishes arise at the thought that I will support you in resolving your conflict?
• What else has been done and attempted so far to rectify the situation in your opinion?

• What happens if the mediation is not successful? 

• Assuming that works well with us. What has changed for you specifically? What do you think has changed for your conflict opponent or partner?
• What should – preferably – not happen?
• Who else needs to be informed?
• Who would have to sit at the mediation table later?
• Who else could contribute to a solution?
• Has a budget been provided by the responsible organisational unit?
• What else do you need to know about me in order to be able to work with me …to take the next step with me?
• In what form do you need an offer from my side?
• What would be our next step for you?

3rd party to a conflict in an organisation asks for mediation

Sometimes one of the parties involved in the conflict calls directly to „get a feel for the situation“ or „simply take action“. In this case, it would be advisable to keep the conversation shorter and enable contact to be made with the responsible office.

• What do I need to know as an external mediator to be helpful to you (both)?
• Who in the organisation/family/club etc. knows that you have contacted me or called me?
• Are you acting on behalf of and with the knowledge – of whom?
• What worries, hopes, fears or wishes arise at the thought that I will support you in resolving your conflict?
• Who should I then contact in your organisation who can formally frame this procedure?

Are you missing a key question or wondering whether this or that could, should or ought to be addressed?

Then write to me directly at s.weigel@inkovema.de or here in the comments with your question or comment.

Thank you very much!

Sascha Weigel